


What's Up, Star Sign?

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Astrology, Background Relationships, Canon Compliant, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Meddling, Oblivious, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Derek Hale, Past Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Past Stiles Stilinski/Malia Tate, ish, past Scott McCall/Malia Tate, sbastrology, sterekbingo2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-10 00:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Thanks to Kira, Derek and Stiles are now "dating" for the sake of a social experiment involving bullshit journalism and astrologyDerek is prepared for his entire life to go up in flames





	What's Up, Star Sign?

**Author's Note:**

> For the theme "Astrology" from Sterek Bingo <3 I, as an Aries, am eternally bitter that we apparently don't appeal to anyone xD
> 
> Derek's birthday is from the official Teen Wolf calander that came with the season 3A DVD, Stiles' is from the "Join The Hunt" game from season one, I know according to the calander he's a Gemini, but I got _really_ attached to Aries!Stiles and think it fits him too well so... there ya' go
> 
> Some fun facts: Regardless of gender, Aries have a more masculine energy and Capricorn have a more feminine energy, wich I consider a cool fact because I personally have always preferred Derek in less traditionally masculine gender roles as opposed to Stiles, additionally, Aries and Capricorn are described as "The Hero And The Sage", with Aries being "a brash young warrior" and Capricorn being the "been there, done that, wise giver of advice", wich is actually very similar to the roles they take on in canon
> 
> Also, to pimp out another event of mine, if anyone is looking for the zine Stiles is talking about, I'm gathering interest for a Yuri On Ice zine of my own riiiiight here https://yoizinecreations.tumblr.com/ if anyone wants to apply as a contributor or fill out the survey!

"You know, of all the rediculous things I've been asked to do since meeting you people, this is by FAR the worst,"

Usually Derek never would have spoken so... _harshly_... to Kira, but she HAD to be fucking KIDDING him with this

She looked so sad though, so.... _deflated_...

"But... this is the last one that I need...."

"Still no,"

"It's just for a month,"

"Still no,"

"I'll pay you?"

"I have enough money and the answer is _still no_ ,"

Kira heaved a long, loud sigh, her shoulders sinking and a pout on her face

Derek couldn't really blame her but he also wasn't about to walk up to the guillotine and give the executioner the thumb's up wile he put his head in it

Ok, maybe he was exaggerating a little, but he was not going to date someone just to see if their "star signs" were really wrong or right about their levels of compatibility!

And he _especially_ wasn't going to date _Stiles_ because of it

Not because he didn't _like_ Stiles- quite the opposite, of everyone in the pack, Stiles had somehow become his favorite

He trusted Stiles, he felt safe with him, and he... actually kind of... was a little bit in love with him

But that was exactly why he refused to do this- he wasn't so masochistic that he was going to put himself in a situation where he was dating the guy he loved all as some social experiment knowing damn good and well that once the month was over, so too would be their relationship

You'd have to be a complete _idiot_ to want to do something like tha-

"Sure I'll do it!!"

Ah yes, speak of the devil

"Did Derek say yes?" Stiles asked excitedly, clapping a hand down on his freind's shoulder and giving it a squeeze

Derek had long ago stopped flinching at Stiles' touch, by now it was a comfortable hallmark of their relationship

A privilege granted to Stiles and Stiles alone, mind you

"No, he said he won't do it," Kira sighed sadly

"Oh come on Derek, it's for her job!"

"I will pay her to _quit_ that job if she stops asking me," Derek bristled

"I can't, I don't just need the money, I need the references, I want to work at Cat Co when I'm out of college but every journalism major in the country wants to work there, if I don't have enough journalism work on my resume I won't even get an interveiw,"

"And how exactly is doing a social experiment on _astrology_ considered journalism?" he asked skeptically

"Honestly? ... I have no idea, but it was this or comparing people's shoe sizes to personality traits so..."

Derek rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to hiss

Ah the downfall of journalism, here he thought the explosive condition of American politics would lead to the destruction of the free press, instead it was astrology and "What Pokemon are you?" quizzes

God, just fucking shoot him already....

"Come on Derek, everybody else is doing it,"

Oh great, now Scott was in on this bullshit too, maybe he'd get lucky and Lydia would start harping on him about it nex-

"You can make a little month-long sacrifice for the sake of Kira's career, you know, I've sacrificed more for less,"

There she was

"So you all think it's a good idea to fake-date someone just to prove weather or not the relationship is going to explode, and then base that on astrology?"

"No no no, not _fake_ date, _real_ date, it won't work if it isn't real, you have to commit," Kira protested

Great, just what he wanted to hear

"Come on Big Guy, just take a chance! I'm a pretty good date if you give me a chance," Stiles insisted, wiggling his eyebrows playfully

"Really?" Derek asked flatly

"Yeah! Lydia can even confirm that! Right Lyds?"

"I have to admit, he's not wrong, he knows how to treat a girl," Lydia agreed with a shrug

"Didn't you two break up in two weeks?" Derek pointed out

"Yes, but it was an attentive two weeks,"

"We just decided we loved eachother more like siblings than lovers, go figure,"

"Yes, Stiles, you've mentioned that about four dozen times in the last six months,"

God it had been a long six months....

"Look, we're a pack, pack helps eachother out, this is a time when we need to help Kira," Scott insisted- as if that was really going to help convince Derek to do this

"Please Derek? Please? I'll make those little chocolate buckeyes you like so much,"

Derek sighed- loudly- and tossed his head back, staring at Stiles, who looked just as pleading as Kira did- for some odd reason

"........... Fine,"

"Yes!! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!" Kira cried, rushing forward and giving Derek a big, tight hug

The werewolf tensed slightly, but quickly relaxed, finding it impossible to be too upset with Kira- she was a sweet girl, and the only one of these heathens he had no problem openly considering a freind, even Stiles he usually refused to acknowledge that way out loud, but Kira?

Refusing her freindship was kind of on the same level as refusing to pet a puppy who had just come up to you, tail a-wag, asking for head scratches

Derek was alot of things, but he wasn't _that_ guy

"Alright, so I officially have my list then! I'll interveiw my parents as a successfull relationship, who are a Capricorn and a Cancer, then I'll need to interveiw the failed relationships- Scott and Malia, who are Virgo and Sagittarius, Stiles and Malia, who are Aries and Sagittarius, Stiles and Lydia, who are Aries and Pisces- though admittedly right on the cusp of Aries-"

"I consider myself more of an Aries anyway, personally," Lydia shrugged

"Yeah, but, you're not," Stiles smirked back, much to Lydia's annoyance

".. Yeah starting to see why that relationship failed," Malia muttered under her breath

" _Anyway_... Derek, are you ok with me profiling your and Braeden's relationship too? What's her sign anyway?"

"I'm fine with it, you'll have to ask her though, we only spent a month together and she never told me her birthday,"

Kira nodded, jotting that down in her notebook

"Ok, then we'll have the experiments! Scott and I- Virgo and Cancer, Lydia and Parrish- Pisces and Libra, Mason and Corey- Cancer and Aquarius, Liam and Hayden- Gemini and Taurus, Malia and Margot- Sagittarius and Leo, Isaac and Nick- Pisces and Scorpio, and Derek and Stiles- Capricorn and Aries,"

"That's alot of star signs," Stiles commented absently

"Yep, I'm pretty lucky that I just so happen to know atleast one person of each sign," Kira agreed enthusiastically

"Almost unrealistically so," Derek grumbled, suddenly wishing that he was anything but a Capricorn

After all, if he was Sagittarius or something, Kira wouldn't need his results, she'd already have had Stiles and Malia's relationship to report on

But alas...

"Welp, better get ready to go Derek,"

"Go?" Derek asked in confusion, tilting his head as he watched Stiles step out from behind him and start making his way to the door

"Go where?"

"You and I are dating now, so I'm taking you on a date,"

Oh...

Derek wasn't exactly sure why but.... his face felt warm, his heart was fluttering a little and he felt oddly... _happy_

He was going to hate Kira for this when it all ended

 

~+~

 

"Out of curiosity, you don't have any skills when it comes to advertising do you?"

Derek had to admit, of all the weird questions he may have expected Stiles to ask on their "first date", that certainly wasn't one of them

"No, why do you ask?"

"Well," Stiles mused slowly, taking a lick of his ice cream cone

"I've noticed that you have alot of weird skills I don't ever expect of you, like home repair and speaking four languages and knowing an incredible amount of comic book trivia,"

Was that really a skill...?

"I just thought advertising might be one of those things,"

"Alright, let me rephrase that: Did you have an actual reason for _needing_ advertising for something, or is this just one of those weird small-talk questions you came up with?" Derek replied, biting into his ice cream bar

"Well, I had a reason... ish, I guess,"

"Care to expand on that?"

"I'm running a Yuri On Ice zine and I was hoping you could help me gain some more interest in it through advertising, because, you know, you're really talented and all,"

"I wish I could help but I have no idea what you're talking about,"

As was the case about half the times Stiles started talking

Derek had a great deal of knowledge about quite a few things, but Stiles somehow still managed to bring up topics- and problems- that he had never even heard of before during atleast half of their conversations

He didn't know how that was even possible

"Oh, sorry, Yuri On Ice _fan_ zine,"

....

"That doesn't help,"

"What words are tripping you up?"

"All of them, absolutely all of them,"

Stiles was quiet for a moment, at first Derek assumed he was disappointed, but then he saw the smirk tat stated to cross over Stiles' face, and he realized far too late that Stiles seemed more... _excited_... by this prospect somehow

"Come on," he said suddenly, grabbing Derek's arm and hurriedly tugging him along

"What? Stiles where are we going _now_?"

"Home! I have a cinematic masterpeice to show you!"

 

~+~

 

"Well? What do you think?"

Six-ish hours later, Derek officially knew what "Yuri On Ice" was

Now he just had one more question in need of an answer

"So what's a zine?"

Stiles looked almost _offended_

He turned around abruptly, his mouth open as he stared at Derek in utter shock

"What do you mean 'what's a zine'!? Is that it!? Is that all you have to say!? Derek you just watched the best anime in history and that's all you can say!?"

"Well I'm not sure if I'd say _the_ best-"

"Don't you have anything else to say?"

Stiles looked... nearly _desperate_ , and Derek felt an immediate need to make things better

It wasn't that he hadn't liked the show, he just didn't have quite the same enthusiasm that Stiles did

And his curiosity to know what Stiles was working on certainly hadn't helped

"It was .. very good, I liked it, so what's a zine?"

Stiles looked considerably unimpressed by the reaction, but atleast he didn't seem sad anymore

"It's a fan project, like a magazine made by fans, it has art and stories and sometimes they come with goodies like keychains and pins and postcards and stuff, it's made by lots of different people involved with the same fandom,"

"That sounds... cool,"

He could certainly understand the appeal

"So you're making one?"

"I'm going to try, but I need to have atleast a few dozen participants and it's proving somewhat difficult to get the amount of people I need, I don't think it's from lack of interest, just lack of knowledge,"

"That makes sense, and you were hoping I could help?"

"Yeah but if you don't know anything about advertising it's cool, I understand,"

"I might not know anything about advertising.... but I _may_ have another idea I can lend you...."

 

~+~

 

" _DUDE_ , I had no idea you could draw!!"

"Don't say it like that, this is .... _mediocre_ , at best,"

Stiles' face was deadpanned, completely unbelieving of that

"Dude, you're out of your mind, this looks amazing!! Seriously, have you always been so good at drawing?"

Derek only shrugged and leaned back as he handed Stiles the newly completed drawing to his "boyfreind"- or whatever Stiles wanted to call himself for the course of this little experiment

"And you've just casually never told anyone about this?"

"Forgive me, it didn't seem relevant considering what usually goes on we have 'pack activities',"

True, most of the time "pack activities" mostly consisted of fighting monsters and killing hunters, they didn't usually have things like movie nights or talent contests- despite constant efforts otherwise

"Do you think this will help with your campaign?"

"Derek," Stiles beamed, his eyes bright as he wrapped an arm around his "boyfreind"

"I think this'll make the campaign blow up! .. In a good way,"

 

~+~

 

"So how is the dating going so far?"

If Derek had any complaints about this experiment- besides the obvious- it was having to check in with Kira once a week

He didn't mind talking to her- and he certainly didn't mind the coffee, he just felt... awkward... talking about his relationships

He had already talked to her a few days back about his relationship with Braeden, wich had been a .... draining... experience...

Not because he and Braeden had ended things on bad terms or because it was hard talking about her or anything like that, but rather because their break-up had been so easy and mutual that he didn't have answers to the more scalding questions that Kira seemed to need information on

They hadn't even been dating long enough for some of her questions to apply to....

Now was a similar experience, he assumed, except talking about his current "relationship" with Stiles rather than his previous one with Braeden

"It's ... going surprisingly well,"

"Really?!" Kira asked excitedly

"Yes, he's very... sweet, and romantic, and Lydia is right about him being a good date,"

They had only been not-quite-fake-but-not-quite-real-either-dating for a week, but already they had been on three "official" dates

Stiles was over at the house every night, he had made Derek dinner twice, and once after Derek had fallen asleep on the couch, he had woken up having been put in bed by his not-exactly-boyfreind

Witch strength- unpredictably great, apparently

Stiles was something of an... overacheiver, in the dating realm, it seemed

'That's so great, I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thanks," Derek said with a bit of uncertainty, not sure if she really should be happy for him or not considering they weren't exactly a real couple

"So now I just need to ask a few data-specific questions, then I'll let you go, ok?"

Derek gave a small nod, eager to get this over with

"Ok, if you had to describe Stiles in three words, what three words would they be?"

Oh, one of _those_ questions

She hadn't asked those about Braeden

Huh... he had to really put some thought into that, leaning back and mulling it over for a few moments before finally coming up with an answer

"Loyal, intelligent, and kind,"

"Really?" Kira asked with clear surprise

"Huh,"

....

Why was she acting so surprised?

Stiles was all of those things, why did she seem disbelieving?

"Why 'huh'? Is that a surprise?" he asked in confusion

"Oh! No no, it isn't,"

Somehow Derek didn't believe her

He wanted to press but he knew that was unlikely to get him anywhere

...

_Damn_ , this was going to bug him all night....

 

~+~

 

"-and so thanks to your beautifull drawing, my interest rates have gone up by 30%! I mean, that sounds like a bad thing because you're usually talking about credit cards but actually it's a good thing, you know, because it means people are interested? Isn't that great!?"

"Uh-huh,"

....

Yeah that lack of enthusiasm and the fact that Derek hadn't even looked up from the dinner that Stiles had so LOVINGLY cooked for him definitely didn't sound like the werewolf was _distracted_ or anything

"... I also rode a zebra to work today,"

"That's nice,"

Great... just great

Rolling his eyes, Stiles cleared his throat and snapped his fingers, thunder roaring outside as a result

Derek snapped his head up, staring in bewilderment at his dinner date- _knowing_ somehow that Stiles was the one who had caused the thunder

"Derek, did you hear a single word I said?"

Blinking slowly, the wolf's face turned pink, and Stiles became increasingly certain that if he were in wolf form, Derek's ears would have laid flat against his skull

".. Something about work?"

" _No_ ," Stiles huffed back, only causing an even deeper rush of embarrassment to course through the werewolf

"Derek what's bothering you?"

"Nothing-"

"Please don't lie to me,"

"But I really-"

"-are lying to me?"

Derek's jaw clamped shut, slight annoyance painted on his face, but in a matter of moments, he merely sighed and relented, his shoulders sagging and his eyes averting

"I talked to Kira today,"

"Oh! Cool, and?"

"And I told her that things are going well between us, and she seemed kind of... surprised, by that,"

"Oh? .. And that's ... bothering you?"

Derek's eyes narrowed, his nose wrinkling as he stared across at the witch

"Yes, and now _you_ seem surprised, why the fuck is that? Why is everyone so surprised that we"re doing well? Even _you_? Am I so unattractive that people can"t believe I have a decent relationship? Am I so difficult to be around? So hard to care for?"

Stiles' mouth opened slightly, clearly surprised by the sudden outburst, though once he actually let the words sink in, he completely understood why Derek was so upset

The last week had been absolutely _amazing_ , it had gone far better than he ever could have expected, it must have been that way for Derek too, and when he realized that other people were actually surprised by the way things were going....

"Derek, that isn't it," Stiles said quietly, reaching forward and gently squeezing his freind's hand, noting the lost, sad expression on his face and wincing internally at how clearly upset he was

"Then... what?"

"Well it's just... we're kind of a surprising pair, Capricorn and Aries.... that doesn't usually work out,"

"Why? Are Capricorns bad people or something?"

Eyebrows raising slowly, Stiles couldn't help but snicker at that

"No way, Capricorns are fucking awesome! They're just not usually compatible with Aries, you know, some signs are just Like That, like... Aries and Cancer, or Aries and Pisces, or Aries and Leo-"

"It sounds like there's a problem with Aries," Derek frowned

_"Hey,"_ Stiles huffed, swatting Derek's hand playfully

"Aries are great! We're just... well, we're not named after the god of war for nothing, but astrology is weird that way, there are some signs that astrology says is incompatible with everybody, depending on what source you ask, Aquarius is like that too, for example,"

"... Oh,"

"Mm-hm, and Aries and Capricorn are apparently one of the worst, but when the pair DOES work out, we're one of the BEST, indestructible! We just have to get past, you know, the _problems_ ,"

"So.... Kira set us up expecting us to fail?"

"No! No no! I - .. well.... I think she set us up because she knew that... I .. _wanted_... us to be set up,"

Derek frowned, his eyebrows pinching in thorough confusion

".... Explain,"

"God Derek _really_? I like you, I REALLY like you, I- .. might even sort of _love_ you, and Kira knows that because ofcourse she does, in fact, if I thought of her as a dishonest person, I would seriously question if there was even an astrology project to begin with,"

...

Wow, Derek had really never thought of that, as made evidenced by the look on his face

"You.... love me...?"

"Well yeah! Did you really think I would be such a great date for someone I _don't_ love?"

"Well... sort of, Lydia seemed to think you were...."

"Yeah but I love Lydia, I mean, not like _that_ , evidently, but still,"

Stiles could see Derek rolling that around in his head, much to the roll of the witch's eyes

He almost asked if it was really that hard for Derek to believe that Stiles loved him but...

He supposed, all things considered, that _would_ be a little harder for hm to process

Before he could speak, however, and try to dissuade whatever ill feelings Derek may be feeling, the werewolf suddenly pressed forward and gave him a long, slow kiss

It certainly took Stiles by surprise at first, but he soon adapted and melted into the sensation, closing his eyes and sinking into the affectionate gesture, his shoulders sagging calmly, his lips moving slowly, it was _heaven_

"I love you Stiles," Derek said seriously, pulling back a moment later, his face dusted pink, but no longer looking timid or frustrated like he did earlier

Good, it was progress

"I want to be with you, I want this to work, and I think it _is_ working so.... fuck astrology,"

Stiles laughed, grinning from ear to ear and shaking his head

"Nah, don't fuck astrology... just know that there are exceptions to every rule, astrology included,"


End file.
